My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
All the doctor said was why
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
