i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
