Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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