So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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