somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
