I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
