Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
