is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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