Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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