you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
