At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
