if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
