just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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