If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
