Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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