This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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