Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
