Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
