About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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