But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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