It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
