This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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