I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
