i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
