I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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