I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
