You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
