Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Randomize
