why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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