Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
