Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
