What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
