He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize