I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize