Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Can I color on your dick again?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
