I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
