he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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