Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
