Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
