no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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