i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
