I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
