were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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