You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
