dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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