Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
