I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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