overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
