i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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