I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
