Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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