We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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