I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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