It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
