im drinking this country out of the recession.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
COCAINE IS GR8
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
