he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
